I had a similar experience in Toronto for their infrastructure. I loved public transportation and the convenience of constant buses and trains. I get nervous about traveling because I am worried I will like the other place so much more that being here will feel more like torture. I think I got this a little in Toronto but they're genuinely so much ruder on a surface level than here in ATL. People shoving others away and nobody saying "thank you". Stupid small things. I got used to it but it was a culture shock for me.
On the other hand I hear a lot from people living in Japan that the collective mindset brings more shame and anxiety than its worth. I see Japanese people online directly disagree with American idealism on Japanese societal norms. They say it feels like being constantly watched and monitored, and I believe they feel it more deeply than someone just visiting. Smaller things you mess up on they would never, but the finer details and constant judgement wears them down. I highly recommend reading "Earthlings" by Sayaka Murata if you're curious on a more in depth (and insane) take on this!
Isn't it so interesting how in American culture, we are often told to ignore the noise and be indifferent to what others think of us? I feel like a lot of my own anxiety, particularly from the last few years, came from my perceptions of what others would think of me. And those perceptions would actually guide the way that I acted and behaved, which would just crystallize in reality those beliefs that may or may not have true in the first place. That type of thinking was very much self-interested and self-focused. But anyways, back to the main point. Like you, I am trying to learn to be more indifferent to how others may perceive me, and while this type of behavior is looked upon favorably here, I find it pretty fascinating how this "positive" reaction could be frowned upon or interpreted as negligent in other Eastern cultures like Japan. My favorite entry yet! Thanks for taking the time to write this up and share it!
I had a similar experience in Toronto for their infrastructure. I loved public transportation and the convenience of constant buses and trains. I get nervous about traveling because I am worried I will like the other place so much more that being here will feel more like torture. I think I got this a little in Toronto but they're genuinely so much ruder on a surface level than here in ATL. People shoving others away and nobody saying "thank you". Stupid small things. I got used to it but it was a culture shock for me.
On the other hand I hear a lot from people living in Japan that the collective mindset brings more shame and anxiety than its worth. I see Japanese people online directly disagree with American idealism on Japanese societal norms. They say it feels like being constantly watched and monitored, and I believe they feel it more deeply than someone just visiting. Smaller things you mess up on they would never, but the finer details and constant judgement wears them down. I highly recommend reading "Earthlings" by Sayaka Murata if you're curious on a more in depth (and insane) take on this!
Isn't it so interesting how in American culture, we are often told to ignore the noise and be indifferent to what others think of us? I feel like a lot of my own anxiety, particularly from the last few years, came from my perceptions of what others would think of me. And those perceptions would actually guide the way that I acted and behaved, which would just crystallize in reality those beliefs that may or may not have true in the first place. That type of thinking was very much self-interested and self-focused. But anyways, back to the main point. Like you, I am trying to learn to be more indifferent to how others may perceive me, and while this type of behavior is looked upon favorably here, I find it pretty fascinating how this "positive" reaction could be frowned upon or interpreted as negligent in other Eastern cultures like Japan. My favorite entry yet! Thanks for taking the time to write this up and share it!